... continued

Well today got my little present from mother nature... I was hopeful at first, but that was a huge let down. I think I need to stop allowing myself to hope. I need to stop allowing myself to get all excited to think I am yet again pregnant, thinking that I might be allowed to have another chance to be a mommy, and then be devastated to find out that it is not so.

It frustrates me so, looking at things about adoption, where the prices are so high, and you have to jump through so many hopes. Now don't get me wrong, I completely understand that they need to make sure that a child will be taken care of, and will not be abused... But they make it impossible for someone like Michael and I who would love to take a child and love them, and to help them and raise them to know that they are loved. We can not afford to go through the hoops, and the courts, we cannot afford the fancy people in the office and flying away to visit another land to arrange all sorts of things. Why is it that we cannot find a family who is struggling, and have them talk to us? Why can we not take the child, and love it and feed it and clothe it? Why can't the government take care of its future, and provide health insurance for said child? Wouldn't that make things better? I mean, a young couple who are faced with a life they are not ready for is given another choice that still ends in life, and my husband and I are able to be happy raising a family. And the child is given loving parents. They force us, those who want to adopt, to jump through hoops to adopt, yet day in and day out there are those who are lucky enough to have their own children, and then they abuse them, and they are not investigated before pregnancy to make sure they are fit parents. To make sure that they can provide for their child, to make sure they wont abuse them and that they can feed them. Why is it this way? *sighs* Okay, enough of my rambling and venting and run on sentences. Perhaps I will expound more on this topic later, when I am feeling less run on sentence-y.