Monday, September 1, 2008

Tomorrow is the first big day

Well, tomorrow I go into see Dr. Gordon, for my first actual prenatal check up. I am a little nervous. I have been terrified during this pregnancy of everything that is going to happen, so I have been wishing that I had not gotten pregnant. But know I am really afraid, because the first time, I miscarried the day before my prenatal exam. The last time, I didn't even get one...

I have been trying to take care of myself, and trying to eat, relax and rest. But not always does it work. This morning I got so stressed out because Michael's little brat of a sister was trying to wake him up (after a hard night of not feeling good and have an upset tummy) to try to make him get Christopher (19 y/o autistic little brother to Michael) off the computer. I told her to be quiet and leave Michael alone because he didn't feel good, and no sooner was I back in bed than she started screaming at Christopher to try to get her way (like always). I had to go sick her dad on her to make her shut up so Michael could sleep. He is not sick that often, and he very rarely sleeps in, so I don't think its to much to ask for him to be left alone when he is sick. But that is not the way of his family. Unless it is Patricia or Heidi (the Mother In Law = MIL) that is sick, you don't get the option of resting when you are sick.

I have been trying to get involved in an online community on, so I can talk to and make friends with other pregnant woman and moms. Some of them are so helpful and wonderful, and some are really just bitches. Unfortunately, the ones I met first are bitches, and it almost threw me off of the site completely. But luckily I found another group in the community to join, and found some wonderful people. Some of them are really helping me feel better, and less stressed, so I am happy. I will just have to avoid the area with the bitches in it.

I feel bad, because I am having a hard time trying to care about my school work and grades. My assignments for this week are due Wednesday, and I haven't done a thing towards them. I didn't do anything towards last weeks either.... I am trying to care for Michael's sake, but its not working all that much. I am beginning to wonder whether this is the right time for either of us to be going to school.

I made this HUGE list of questions that I want to ask my Dr. tomorrow. I hope he doesn't hate me. At last count, I had like 36 questions. I feel horrible, like it's to much for just one visit... but Michael says that it's his job, and he is used to it, so I shouldn't feel bad. I probably still will.

I revealed to my friend Amber last night that I am pregnant, even though I was a little nervous to do so. I was afraid she would be upset with me, because this is the second time I have been pregnant since she and her husband have been trying for a little one. She seemed to take it okay though, so it helps. I have someone I know that I can talk to about stuff. : )

I am thinking I want to try those Sea Bands thingies, because they supposedly help with Morning Sickness... I know I am coming to the end of it (hopefully), but I am still not enjoying the feelings... I am nauseous right now, and it isn't a good feeling.

I need to go take a shower badly before tomorrow, so I think this is goodnight.