heh...

yeah, its been a while. Sorry. Will try to update more.

*Laptop is down, so I dont have the big "blogger" bookmark in front of me, so I forget. Plus Im horrible at writing. I signed up for the national novel writers month thingy, got 539 words in, and promptly quit.

*Working on Christmas presents now for family. Knitted dishcloths, crocheted blankets, store bought stuffed animals for the kids, and such and such. Hopefully will finish before xmas.

*Not feeling well today, got a cold. bleh.

*Still working at Cold Stone and still a supervisor, but doing closing shifts now. Not liking it anymore and wanting to quit, but need to stay in a job so Mike can go to school and get his CNA thingy so he can quit walmart and work at the hospital. So looking for something else because im sick of the stereotypical highschool bull$h!t that is going on with the coworkers.

*Missing my mommy and wishing I could fly down and spend a couple weeks with her, but the plane ticket prices are way to expensive for that to happen... : (

*Wishing I could afford to quit and stay home and make fun things for my baby.

*Wishing I could afford to go get my nails and hair done....

One thing I am so happy to report, is our little one is doing so well now. S/he is so very active and bouncing and dancing most days for hours. : ) And today, Mike finally got to feel him/her kick. It made me so happy I almost started crying. Im so looking forward to the day she or he is born, and I can hold my sweet little bundle of joy and snuggle her and not let her go for a few hours. I really miss being a mommy.

Anyways, will try to update more often. Im 20 weeks now, it will be nice if I can update atleast once a week, but Im not going to hold my breath knowing how bad at updating I am.

random update

Was planning on continuing the tale of our adventure to Anchorage and Seward today, but probably wont. I will leave that for another day or time.

*shruggs* Not feeling so hot right now, I think I'm coming down with a cold, and have a cold sore on the corner of my bottom lip as proof. Yay! *rolls eyes*

Today I had the day off, and was planning on going to church, but Michael had to work, and I didn't get myself out of bed to take him to work. So that meant, no car. Oh well. I'll try to go next week. I know he works again next Sunday, so hopefully we will get to sleep earlier next Saturday.

He opened up his availability at work, because they have been dangling a promotion in front of him but told him he had to have completely open availability to be able to receive it. But it looks as though he was just asked if he wanted it to see if he would start working on Sundays. His one supervisor thinks that all of his workers should have to work on Sunday even if he (the supervisor) doesn't. Which is bunk, but oh well. Mike says if he isn't given the promotion within two weeks, he will change his availability back to no Sundays, and also no Mondays so he will actually have 2 days off in a row, instead of it popping randomly around the week as they see fit. He has been told that because of corporate doing the scheduling now, its against their policies to give you two days off in a row. Which is complete and total bunk, but that's what you get for working at a soul sucking company like Walmart. To any who might read my blog, I encourage you to never work for Walmart, and to encourage your friends and family not to work for them either. If you can afford it or have the choice, I would also say to boycott them, but at the moment Michael and I can not afford it, so it will have to wait until someday when he is working somewhere else so we can afford to not to have to use the discount card he gets for working there.

Anyways, other than that, seems like the pregnancy is going okay. Tired, and bloated, cranky and achy is whats on the agenda, but yeah. No spotting and no real cramping to speak of, so hopefully all is well. I will see if I will be able to get an ultrasound this week to be able to see how the lil baby bean is doing a progressing.

A very busy weekend

That's what I had. A very busy weekend. So, the 10Th was my birthday, and Michael wanted to go all out for me to celebrate. We drove down to Anchorage and Seward to celebrate. And Oh My Gosh, it was AMAZING!

Saturday night we got everything packed up, and left town at about midnight. We drove and drove and drove. We found out that we probably didn't have to leave that early (later), but oh well. It was a nice peaceful drive other than the fact of both of us being tired (neither of us had slept since that morning) and me having to pee a lot. Plus we both had to keep stopping to stretch because we were oh so stiff, and to wake up. But we made really good time, even with it being dark and me driving slowly to avoid animals (of which we saw like 3 moose on their way back into forest and not into the road, thank goodness). We made it to Wasilla, and we stopped to eat at IHop, as Michael and I have both been missing it. I have been craving waffles with fruit on top, so I went for that even though they had some crepes that sounded to die for! Crepes with Nutella inside and strawberries and whipped cream on top! Yum. Definitely will be going back for those later.

Anyways, went on the road again, and made it to Anchorage at like 9 AM, which was way early. We weren't going to be able to check into the hotel until 3PM, so we found the 5Th Avenue Mall. Which I have to tell you, is what a mall is supposed to be like. 5 stories people! 5 stories of shops and services, and food. But, everything was closed. We had accidentally gotten there about 2 hours before they even opened. Oops! We were worried we would get in trouble, but nothing came of it. So we decided to try to go find the hotel and just sleep in the car in the parking lot. On our way out, we walked across a big glass walkway that is 4 stories above the traffic to get to the parking garage, which I have to say was really cool. We got in the car and headed to the hotel. Unfortunately I fell asleep, and Michael was lost in Anchorage for over an hour just trying to get us to the Hotel. But finally we got there.

We went inside to ask if maybe it might be okay if we checked in early, but they had just had all the previous guests check out (check out is at 11 AM at Executive Suites), and the house keeping had just arrived so they said it would be another hour or 2. So we slept in the car for about 30 minutes but it was uncomfortable, so we walked across the parking lot to the McDonalds that shared the same parking lot and got some fries and a McFlurry to share to waste time. Went back to the car and tried to nap a bit, and finally at about 12:30 PM I decided to go ask if it was possible if we could check in, and Yes! It was. They got us in and it was glorious! We laid down in the bed and slept for a good six hours (the alarm clock sucked), and found out that since it was Sunday, pretty much everything had closed. So, Michael and I decided to just lay in bed and watch TV and sleep for the rest of the night, which was okay, because we needed it, and it was romantic just cuddling away from home and worries. : )

Not much going on

Just thought I would update even though there isn't much going on. I made a resolution to update my blog more often, so I'm gonna!

We made the reservations for our hotel for our Anchorage and Seward Vacation last night, and we are pretty happy about that. I wish we had the money to stay longer, but oh well. At least we will have two nights in a hotel. I am gonna look at camping sites to see if we wanna camp out for a night so that we can stay one day longer, but I will do that in a little bit.

Still working, Andrea knows about my little surprise and she is happy, so that's all good. : ) Hoping to keep working until January or so, and then relax after that. But if I work till February, that will have been a year in one job with no real problems. : ) So I'm starting to do better. Its getting easier not to be discouraged with myself, when I look at the progress I'm making in my life.

Working on my knitting still, I will be happy when I do quit my job for the main reason of my hands will stop hurting so much, and I can start knitting and crocheting more often again. : D

Anyways, I think that's all for now.

General life

Not much is going on. Just finished my week of opening the store. I'm glad I get two days off, as I was starting to get really frustrated with stuff going on. Truly told, it was really nothing big, just lots of little things adding up over time, like everyone inability to properly sweep and mop the lobby floor. I don't want to have to do that, since its really not my job. Its night crews job to clean, morning crews job to stock. I don't think I should have to sweep and mop the floor when I get there in the morning when it is on their list of things to do NIGHTLY! *sighs* oh well.

In other news, I am doing better at getting more water in me. Wednesday I drank 32 oz, Thursday I drank 24 oz, Friday I drank 20 oz, and today I drank over 40 oz. Now, while I realize that its recommended to drink 64 oz of water daily, I have almost never done that in my life, so 40 oz of water in one day is pretty dang awesome for me. : )

Today I was attempting to read and knit and relax at Barnes and Noble for a few hours, but yeah, fell asleep in front of the fire place so decided to come home to sleep here. Haven't gone yet, but that's okay as Michael has gone out to hang out with one of his friends from work. Which I am quite enjoying. He is getting time with someone other than me, I'm getting some quite time alone (as he has taken to always wanting background noise and motion, AKA a movie or video game... Music on the computer isn't doing it for him where as it is just fine for me)... But right now the only noise I hear is the clicking of the keys and the fan going.

Today I did submit my poem "Memorial" to possibly be published in a book called "From a lullaby to Goodbye", which will be published to help people who have lost their children to SIDS, and or other things, whether it be accidents or diseases. It will be nice if it is accepted, but if not, oh well. I was going to submit a written story detailing our experiences, but between work, being tired and not feeling well and being lazy and slacking, I never got around to it. Today was the cut off for submissions. Hopefully it counted that I sent it at 11:30 PM my time, but I doubt it. Oh well. We shall see. Anyways, its the thought that counts.

I think I might go jump in the shower again, lol, as it is so freaking hot in my house. I wish I had air conditioning. All I have is this meager fan and its not doing much. Oh well. Goodnight, blogger land.

: )

Happy news last night... Looking for health insurance now, and hoping to get some soon. Also hoping that everything goes well like it did last time, well, at least up until the end. But we shall see. For now, I'm a happy Moyruh. : )

Woohoo!

Just won an auction on Ebay, which is like the first time I have ever done that without using the buy it now feature. I got an Ipod! So excited. Its my birthday present. : )

Happy 26!

Cant wait to get it.

But now I have been an idiot and stayed up until 3 am and have to be to work at 9 am. This is going to suck. Oh well, Thank the Lord for coffee. Will be living off of it today I think. Anyways, going to bed NOW, even though its like the fifth time Ive said that to myself in the last 2 hours... bleh.

Bleh

So much for my resolution to write more on my blog in the year 2010 huh? Haven't even looked at this thing in a couple o' months. So I'm going to attempt to rectify that. I put the blogger page as number one visible book mark in Google Chrome's bookmark bar, so I see it and will be more apt to write down what I am thinking or feeling. Hopefully at least.

Not feeling so good right now, gotta get to bed so I can sleep, gottsta work today at 11 am, and its working on 2 am... So much FUN!! *rolls eyes*

A bit of happiness...

Couple happy happenings to report...

1, I emailed the woman who took Josua's first official portrait in the hospital and told her what happened, and asked if maybe we could get a copyright release so that I could buy one of those throw rugs with his picture on it from Wal-mart... and she is more than willing to do so and will be sending us the CD disk with the photo on it, as well as a copyright release... so it will be something we will be able to do... : )

2, My boss asked me if I wanted to have the shift that she needed someone in who was reliable. Its getting busier during the day at Cold Stone, and she needs someone who can come in and get down to business to help her with what she needs done... And she asked me. It made me quite happy. I gladly accepted. Plus she will be giving me Sundays, Mondays, and Tuesdays off each week, so that will be a happiness and cookies type thing. ^_^

In other news, yesterday there was a bomb scare at the Home Depot that is right across the street from Wal-mart where my husband works. Apparently someone stuck some kind of box in the back of a military personnel's truck and they were afraid it was explosive... not sure why. But apparently it was fine. Thank God. But it is kind of scary when your husband texts you saying he can't leave the store because of a bomb threat.

I went to JoAnn's Fabric and Crafts store on Wednesday to buy a few things, and to say hi to my friend Dana. She told me that they had found a body by the dumpster out back. That's kind of scary. Apparently though it was an exposure death. Its been getting warmer recently, and I guess some guy thought it was okay to go to sleep outside, but it didn't turn out how he had imagined. He was 63 the report on newsminer.com said... Maybe he was homeless and drunk? Ionno, the report didn't say. Still scary though.

I love Alaska, and I love Fairbanks, but its still kind of scary to know that these things are on your door step, so to speak....

Easter weekend review

Well, its been a while since I have posted...

Life in general is happening, as it does to all.

In Late February, I got a job at Cold Stone Creamery. We tried to make it through Josua's birthday on the 3rd as best we could. The 18th was worse. I miss my son.

I decided I wanted a tattoo for myself, to memorialize my son. I am doing a lot to try to memorialize him in ways for him, such as trying to raise support for SIDS organizations for research. Someday I still plan on buying lots of the books SIDS & Infant Death Survival Guide(the book that got me through Josua's death and funeral) and getting them into hospitals to help others who are grieving... But I needed something for me. So, I decided on a tattoo. I went onto Deviant Art and was looking at tattoo's to see if I could find something I liked, so that I could try to commission someone to do a tattoo for me... But then within the first page of searching under the "tattoo" search term, was a gorgeous picture of a heart with a lotus and angel wings. I was in love. I knew it was what I wanted. So, I started saving up my tips from Cold stone, and saved and saved.

Saturday, I was able to get my tattoo started. Its far from finished. I still need to have the line work heal, and in a month or so I will be heading back for the color, and the text, with my sons name and the dates... 03-03-2009 and 03-18-2009 in banners... Im looking forward to its completion. Im not sure I will get any more after that one, but we shall see. It hurt. A lot. But I made it through. My son is worth it.

I miss him....

Its so hard to see my friends on Facebook right now, all announcing pregnancies or births of highly anticipated children... And yet like a typical me, I still go through and read these posts, hanging off them and congratulating my friends... all the while its killing me inside. Watching the link to the NBC? segment on another womans blog about her son and his miraculous recover had me sobbing. Yes, deep inside I know that there was a reason why my son was taken and not returned like little baby B was... I know it was to teach us somethings that we needed to know... but why couldn't have something else happened to teach us those things? I think we would have learned even if we had been given our son back... why can't we have him? Why can't I get pregnant again? I... *sighs* Im trying to pull myself together right now, but its oh so hard. I want to be a mommy. I want to be a mommy for MY SON. But I failed him... And I will have to live with that for the rest of my days...

I think I am need of something entirely fattening and not so good for me... brownies it is....